“Well, he’s not going to Houston, I tell you that… You know how those horses have those little things, ties in a bullfight, you tie those things to their balls and they go crazy? I’ve got two of those tied to Dwight Howard’s testicles, so he can’t move… He can’t move. If he does, it’ll be painful. So he can’t go nowhere.”

—Metta World Peace, on Dwight Howard’s future.