Sources: Knicks Shooting Guard Iman Shumpert Shaves Flat-Top, Destroys Meaning of Life

It was fun while it lasted, guys. But what does this mean for the Knicks, and the NBA as a whole?

1. The guys at NBA 2K are going to HATE Iman Shumpert. Last year, Shump revealed his fresh new hairstyle JUST after the guys over at 2K had finalized their game, meaning that the Shumpert seen in the video game would not look like Shumpert in real life. This year, they finally put Shump’s flat-top in the recently-released NBA 2K14, and now…. it’s gone. Expect to see Shumpert demoted to a 55 overall in the next roster update.

2. Shumpert is much more aerodynamic. The flat-top created a ton of air resistance. Expect this new, clean-shaven style to solidify the Knicks’ spot amongst the NBA’s elite.



-Tommy Rothman



2 thoughts on “Sources: Knicks Shooting Guard Iman Shumpert Shaves Flat-Top, Destroys Meaning of Life

  1. Joe

    Well written, dude. Must say Shump looked better with the flat top. It defined his look as he started to sculpt himself into an elite NBA player and rising star. It seperated him from the other taper fade stereotypical athletic dude haircut on every player. Westbrook. Young. Rose. Melo. LeBron (sans hairline). And you see it among all the no names in the league as well. Shump was this kid playing ball for the hometown hero Knicks squad. And he could eventually grow to something massive if he keeps working. That’s his duty.

    Joe MacDonald



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