50 Rules of a Knicks Fan’s Household
- Thou shalt not bandwagon
- Thou shalt not desert thy team
- Thou shalt obey all men in the household, because men have balls, and balls don’t lie
- Thou shalt watch every game. You get 1 skip a year. Use it well
- Am I busy between 7 and 10? Yes. Unless you’re asking because you have an extra ticket.
- Thou shalt Like “New York Knicks Memes”
- The game is on ESPN? Cool story. It’s also on MSG
- Thou shalt not sing the Friday Night Knicks song, for it is cursed
- Oh, you’re a Heat fan? I’m glad to hear that. Now I know not to associate myself with you.
- You want to have a conversation? That’s what halftime is for
- If Clyde tells a joke, you laugh
- Thou shalt know all 15 players on the roster
- The words “Isiah” and “Thomas” must be separated by at least 10 negative adjectives if they are to be used in the same sentence
- Thou shalt worship Carmelo Anthony as the Basketball Jesus
- Thou shalt not use Carmelo Anthony’s name in vain
- Thou shalt take 3 to the dome every single time the Knicks hit a 3
- Thou shalt do the belt every time Steve Novak hits a 3
- If you see a fellow Knicks fan, you must acknowledge them in some way
- If a Heat fan is walking towards you, don’t get out of his way. Stand your ground and take a charge
- There will be SILENCE when the Basketball Jesus is speaking
- Thou shalt not consume Honey Nut Cheerios
- Thou shalt not miss any game because of homework, ever! Due tomorrow = Do tomorrow
- Thou shalt recognize the flat-top
- Thou shalt recognize the goatee
- Thou shalt recognize Rasheed’s bald spot
- Hating the Nets is not encouraged. It is REQUIRED
- Thou shalt have New York Knicks Memes open on thy laptop during the game
- All compliments towards LeBron James must be backhanded
- Amar’e Stoudemire is the reason we put this team together. Thou shalt respect Amar’e Stoudemire
- Tyson Chandler is the heart and soul of this team. Thou shalt not insult Tyson Chandler
- Thou shalt cry a manly tear whenever Carmelo does something god-like
- Thou shalt scream “ARIBA” every time you steal the inbounds pass when playing NBA 2K
- If Steve Novak dunks, you turn off the TV, turn off the lights, wait in your dark bedroom, and hope the apocalypse is quick and painless
- Tyson Chandler is better than Brook Lopez. You must view this as a fact.
- Remember Allan Houston? Yes, you do.
- Thou shalt own a Knicks Jersey
- Thou shalt have at least 1 shrine to the Knicks in thy household
- Your marriage is just your side affair. Your true love is the Knicks
- Thou shalt not compliment Joey Crawford
- Thou shalt not boo unless the Knicks are asking for it
- Oh, I just woke you up by screaming after a basket? Well, you shouldn’t have fallen asleep during the game
- If Mike Woodson smiles, thou shalt take a picture. Pics or it didn’t happen.
- Thou shalt worship Flight White’s leaping abilities
- Thou shalt rep the #Knickstape
- Thou shalt taunt fans of other teams
- Thou shalt troll Nets and Heat pages
- Do not breathe when you are in the presence of Carmelo. The air belongs to him
- Thou shalt learn to live with the bad side of JR Smith
- Jason Kidd is the wise one. Thou shalt not insult his age
- Thou shalt Purchase “Zeroes” on your iTunes, because Iman Shumpert is featured on it.
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Insteead of the Zeroes thing it should be: “Thou shall download Iman Shumpert’s mixtape Th3 #Post90s.” For real he has some great songs. Like “progress” and “anarchy”
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Brandon you don’t know Allan Houston? You need to fix that bro
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Rule 51: Thou shalt read every single rule
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Zeroes by who?
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Thy shall obey, except i don’t know Allan Houston
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35. h20 was a beast!
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I must obey.
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